This week is the second attempt at Lightlife Smart Dogs. I didn't have high hopes for these, I'll be honest. They have been in my fridge since the first attempt, just waiting for me to give in to my journalistic integrity and give them a second shot. I promised you all I would, so here goes.
In preparation for this, I made up some homemade coleslaw, and cooked some corn on the cob. I was ready to have a real, American cookout experience. With my Foreman grill. Too lazy for charcoal, sorry guys. Maybe next time I get my hands on some fake hot dogs.
Since I microwaved these last time, I decided to try a couple different cooking techniques, keeping in mind that the goal is not to cook them, but merely to warm them. First, a pot of boiling water. Dropped a couple dogs in there to warm up. I also cooked a couple on the grill, next to some backup real-meat hot dogs (but not touching - the experiment is still valid!). I threw them all in buns and topped with ketchup (my only condiment of choice for hot dogs of any sort). Took a moment to center myself, while wondering what the hell I was doing, then took a big bite of the boiled dog.
When I tried it before, it was a completely naked dog, no bun, no ketchup, and it was foul. With both bun and ketchup, it was slightly better. It tasted a little like barbecue sauce, but with a background flavor of... something else. Probably soy sauce. It was not terribly pleasant. And the texture... oh the texture. Super mushy. My mouth was not pleased. I think it may have taken on some of the water it was boiled in.
So I abandoned that one, took a deep breath, and got ready to try the grilled dog. It had an ever-so-slightly better texture, but the flavor was identical. I'd like to say I was really let down by these, but I wasn't expecting much. At least I had some real hot dogs to accompany my (only so-so) coleslaw and (super awesome) corn, and I don't have to continue ignoring the package of Smart Dogs in my fridge. *phew*
Texture - mushy
Flavor - sorta BBQ, sorta soy sauce, mostly ick
Final grade: D-