Smart Deli Ham. I'd had a pretty good experience with their pepperoni, so I was cautiously optimistic. However, as soon as I opened the box, my concerns were alive and well.
Dear Lightlife, ham is not brownish-orange. Ham is pink. See what you can do about that.
I grudgingly opened the plastic surrounding this brown meat, thinking that if I ever encountered real-meat ham that looked like that, I'd throw it right in the trash. Outside. Actually, the neighbor's trash can, maybe. That might be far enough. But I boldly put some of it into my mouth.
Lo and behold, it actually tasted pretty good. And not only that, but remarkably similar to ham. I was a little worried about the almost-first ingredient being wheat gluten, because usually highly gluten-y products have a super gross taste, but this one was pretty much just ham-flavored. So, all you practically-life-long vegetarians who haven't ever eaten ham or just forgot, this is pretty close to what ham tastes like. Now you know.
I even tried it with a cracker and some swiss cheese (my favorite thing to do with lunchmeat ham), and it tasted just like real ham with swiss cheese. I'm very impressed.
Texture - nice and chewy, just like real ham
Flavor - very hammy - I like it!
Final grade for this attempt: A+