January 14, 2011

Tofurky Beer Brats

This week, I'm going to be talking about another Tofurky sausage: Tofurky Beer Brats. I readily admit that I'm not the biggest brat fan, especially since it's apparently completely inappropriate to top them with ketchup. The standard accompaniments are mustard and sauerkraut, which I don't like. But whatever - let's check them out anyway.

I cooked them up on the grill until they were nice and hot, and served them up in buns. Ignoring all standards of decency, I slathered ketchup all over mine. Then, I went in for my first bite. I know I've talked about this before, but with real-meat sausages that are stuffed in a natural casing (yes - animal intestines - I'm under no illusions here), you get this nice snap when you bite into it, followed by a delightful juiciness. Without this casing, the sausage experience is kind of a big letdown. It's just mushy, with no burst of juice in the middle. I know I'm not alone in this being a disappointment. I have yet to find a sausage that can replicate that natural casing experience without using intestines. I keep trying though.

Aside from the texture, there isn't too much to say about the flavor. It had a little bit of spiciness to it, but not much else. I'm used to a bunch of different spice flavors in a standard brat, but this just tasted like fake meat with a little heat. It wasn't a bad flavor, but it wasn't a desirable flavor, either. I went back and reread my other reviews of the Tofurky sausages, and they all pretty much say the same thing: bland, no strong flavors, not bad but not good. Come on, Tofurky - your sausages shouldn't be completely interchangeable - add flavors!

On the up side, the promises they make on the website are completely accurate: "These Big Dogs actually SIZZLE on the grill and really fill out a bun." Yes, and yes. Of course, they go on to say that they are satisfying and delicious, which is a bit of a stretch, but hey - it's a start.

The experience:
Texture - kinda mushy
Flavor - not much flavor to speak of aside from a little spiciness

Final grade for this attempt: C


  1. Eh, Tofurky sausages all taste the same. It's kinda like they are marketing to geriatrics with bland diets, to not offend with flavors.

  2. If you think there is any bit of spice to these, your taste buds are defective. Ketchup on them? Do you really think your opinion maters when you don't even eat them even remotely close to how they are intended to be served? That being said, as with most Tofurkey products, they're terrible. With or without Ketchup.