Tofurky Beer Brats. I readily admit that I'm not the biggest brat fan, especially since it's apparently completely inappropriate to top them with ketchup. The standard accompaniments are mustard and sauerkraut, which I don't like. But whatever - let's check them out anyway.
I cooked them up on the grill until they were nice and hot, and served them up in buns. Ignoring all standards of decency, I slathered ketchup all over mine. Then, I went in for my first bite. I know I've talked about this before, but with real-meat sausages that are stuffed in a natural casing (yes - animal intestines - I'm under no illusions here), you get this nice snap when you bite into it, followed by a delightful juiciness. Without this casing, the sausage experience is kind of a big letdown. It's just mushy, with no burst of juice in the middle. I know I'm not alone in this being a disappointment. I have yet to find a sausage that can replicate that natural casing experience without using intestines. I keep trying though.
Aside from the texture, there isn't too much to say about the flavor. It had a little bit of spiciness to it, but not much else. I'm used to a bunch of different spice flavors in a standard brat, but this just tasted like fake meat with a little heat. It wasn't a bad flavor, but it wasn't a desirable flavor, either. I went back and reread my other reviews of the Tofurky sausages, and they all pretty much say the same thing: bland, no strong flavors, not bad but not good. Come on, Tofurky - your sausages shouldn't be completely interchangeable - add flavors!
On the up side, the promises they make on the website are completely accurate: "These Big Dogs actually SIZZLE on the grill and really fill out a bun." Yes, and yes. Of course, they go on to say that they are satisfying and delicious, which is a bit of a stretch, but hey - it's a start.
Texture - kinda mushy
Flavor - not much flavor to speak of aside from a little spiciness
Final grade for this attempt: C