Yves Good Dog.
I may have mentioned before that I like to cut up hot dogs to add to my macaroni and cheese from-a-box. It's something that dates back to my childhood. Fond memories and all that. So perhaps these had a pretty high standard to live up to.
I really enjoyed the heck out of the corn dogs that Yves makes, so I was hoping for the best with the naked dogs. I followed the directions as carefully as I could, since I've gotten slammed before for making things up. I put them in a bowl of water (had to cut them in half to get them to fit properly while submerged), covered the bowl with a plate, and microwaved them for one minute. They were making all kinds of crazy noises in there, but I just kept going. When I pulled them out, they were nice and hot, but also weirdly blistered-looking. I guess real-meat hot dogs do that too, so I moved forward.
I sliced off a chunk to taste it, and discovered that the texture was pretty similar to a real-meat hot dog. It even had a bit of resistance in the skin. As it cooled, however, it started to get really tough and chewy which wasn't fantastic, so if you eat these, be sure to eat them quickly.
Flavor-wise, these weren't too bad for a veggie hot dog. I don't think they had a very hot-dog-ish flavor, but judged on its own merits, it wasn't too bad. I tried it with a little ketchup, and it was a little better, but mostly because I could taste the hot dog less. I ended up eating a little bit more with dollops of ketchup, then just eating my mac & cheese without the veggie dogs. Not a perfect substitute when the flavor is critical to the experience. On a bun with some potato chips on the side, I bet this would be perfectly adequate.
Texture - pretty similar to a real-meat hot dog when hot, but got tougher and chewier as it cooled
Flavor - if you've never eaten a real-meat hot dog before, you could probably really get into this version - it's not bad
Final grade for this attempt: C