Amy's Quarter Pound Veggie Burger.
This is a seriously substantial burger, people. When you hear about a quarter pound real-meat burger, they're talking pre-cooked weight - it loses some of that by the time it hits the bun. This veggie burger, however, is actually four ounces.
To prepare this massive burger, I heated up some vegetable oil in a skillet, as usual. Few minutes on each side, and I was ready to go. I also toasted up a bun and dug some caramelized onions out of my refrigerator. Couldn't remember exactly how long those had been in there, but they looked fine. I also decided to throw some cheese on there, thus canceling out the vegan element, but I'm not vegan, so that felt okay to me. Plus, I did snag a bite with no cheese, just for testing purposes, so the science is still good, such as it is.
In any case, completely naked, the burger was pretty tasty. Had a decent consistency to it and a nice ambiguously savory flavor. With all the fixings it was very satisfying. I probably wouldn't have missed the cheese, to be perfectly honest. This is a good burger. It doesn't taste much like meat, but it's definitely hearty. This is a serious veggie burger. This burger doesn't mess around.
Texture - not mushy, not weird - just a nice burger texture
Flavor - ambiguously savory, but in a good way
Final grade for this attempt: A-