August 26, 2011

Quorn Chik'n Tenders

This week is an auspicious week, indeed. Not only did this past Wednesday mark the two-year anniversary of this blog, but this post is my 100th review! It's hard to imagine that I've eaten one hundred different varieties of fake meat, but there you have it. Actually, a handful have been repeats, but mostly at the beginning when I was just figuring this whole thing out.

I wish I had something super cool to celebrate with, but the only idea I came up with (which was very cool), took more time than I had, so I'll use it later. So what I'm going to settle for is a regular review. I'm going to tell you all what I think about Quorn Chik'nTenders.

I had this leftover pasta thing in the fridge that was really tasty. There was zucchini, summer squash, chickpeas, tomato, parmesan, and some herbs and spices (garlic, parsley, oregano, and basil). It was already pretty tasty, but since it was being eaten as leftovers, I thought I'd cook up some chicken to go with it. Unfortunately, I was all out of chicken. How does that happen? Luckily, I had these to (hopefully) fill in the gap.

I tossed them into a skillet with a reasonable amount of vegetable oil, some salt and pepper, and a healthy amount of garlic powder. Even though they do contain garlic powder, according to the ingredients, I was pretty confident that there wasn't going to be enough. So I cooked them up until they started to get nicely browned. Then I popped a chunk into my mouth to see how it was before I mixed it into my pasta salad. Oddly, it had a very strong stuffing flavor. Like, what you serve at Thanksgiving dinner next to the turkey (or fake turkey or whatever) and cranberry sauce. Not only did it have a stuffing flavor, but also a very bread-y texture, also like stuffing. I think maybe the Quorn folks are confused about what they were trying to imitate. Because honestly, these were tasty, but definitely not chicken. These were totally stuffing cubes.

As it turned out, they matched just fine with my pasta salad, but only because any other flavor these cubes were paired with automatically trumped any stuffing flavor. Even a chunk of zucchini was hugely overwhelming of the apparently terrifically fragile flavor of the chik'n cube. Once any other competing element was swallowed, however, whatever bits of chik'n remained in my mouth reasserted their stuffing flavor. This is a strange experience, but not an unpleasant one. Considering that Quorn is claiming this as a chicken-analogue, however, I had to downgrade it a bit.

The experience:
Texture - just like stuffing
Flavor - also just like stuffing

Final grade for this attempt: B-


  1. Of all the chicken nugget/strip subs. I found Morningstar Farms (MF) to be the best. Quorn is pretty good while most are terrible but MF seems to get this product right. MF seems to be really hit or miss but they get the chicken stuff right.

  2. It may taste ok, but Quorn gives me the runs. I can't tolerate the mold it's made from.