here and scroll through all their posts. Unfortunately, there isn't much information other than what you can already see in the top left corner of this page. If you can't tell, I'm not exactly thrilled at this development.
Anyway… moving on. Their new packaging… I'm just going to lay it out there, because I'm a little cranky today. The new box shape is stupid. You see how there's a curve at the top? That's actually the shape of the box. I picked up three or four of these, trying to find one that wasn't all smushed, before I realized they were shaped like that on purpose. Why would you want a box shaped that way? In looking at some of the other pictures on their Facebook page, some of them have the smushed bits on the sides rather than the top. Also dumb. What the heck are they doing?
Before I get to the actual contents of the box, I'd like to share a story. The day I bought these, I was apparently very nervous about tasting them, so that night I had a nightmare about eating them. Not even kidding. This actually happened. In the dream, I was eating a piece of fake shrimp, and at first, it was very shrimp-like. However, the longer I chewed it, the stringier it got. But stringier isn't quite the word. Imagine taking a huge bite of celery and just chewing on it for a long time. Kind of a cellulose gum, where you know that more chewing isn't going to help, but you don't want to spit it out. Anyway, that was my dream.
Reality time… I took the box out of the fridge, read the instructions (three cooking methods listed), and decided to try all of them. First test: cold. This was the one that frightened me the most. I'm not the biggest real-shrimp fan, so I had no idea what would happen with these. It smelled distressingly shrimpy. Distressing in an accurately-shrimpy way. Like, why would this combination of ingredients smell like seafood? I took a deep breath, steeled myself for the worst, and took a bite. It tasted also fairly fishy, I guess one could convince oneself it was shrimp, maybe with cocktail sauce or something. The texture, while not my nightmarish cellulose experience, was still pretty odd. Kinda chewy, but in the way that actual shrimp is kinda chewy. It was totally weird.
Next test - heating in the skillet with a little oil. First warning, and the directions say nothing about this, pat the shrimp dry before dumping in the hot oil. Seriously. Right out of the package, there was a fair amount of moisture on them, and this splattered hot oil all over my kitchen and continued popping for a long time. It was pretty intense. So, be careful. After I finished dodging hot splattering oil and cooked the shrimp a bit, until it got slightly browned on both sides, I gave them another taste. With this method, they were actually pretty good. They were less chewy (in that slightly weird way) and the flavor changed. It's hard to explain how it changed, but I'm going to go with "just better". So things were looking up for this veggie shrimp.
And then I tried the third method. The microwave. I put it in for the prescribed amount of time, removed it from the microwave, and took a bite. Or rather, I tried to take a bite. These things came out super tough and nearly impossible to eat. Sort of like my dream-veggie-shrimp. Do not do this to your veggie shrimp. You paid good money for this stuff - do not ruin it by putting it into the microwave. You've been warned.
Texture - cold, weirdly chewy; skillet, nicely chewy; microwave, do not do this
Flavor - surprisingly shrimpy, or at least vaguely seafood-y - not too bad
Final grade for this attempt: B+ (in the skillet)
3 hours ago