Gardein Chick'n Scallopini.
I decided on a whim one evening to cook up a couple of these, dice them up, and bake them on a pizza. Then I fed it to my wife without telling her what it was, to see if she'd notice. I'll get to that in just a minute.
To cook them, I tossed them into a skillet with a little oil and flipped them a few times until they were browned and hot. Because I was making a Greek pizza, I sprinkled some Greek seasoning onto them while they were cooking. Even though the website says they are seasoned, and I added additional seasoning, these were pretty bland. Not much flavor. I think it wouldn't hurt them if I went more aggressive with the seasoning. There wasn't any bad flavor, just not much flavor at all.
The texture was a little weird. Very soft, but a little spongy, like a marshmallow. Not quite as soft as a marshmallow - maybe a stale marshmallow. But juicy. Anyway, it wasn't bad, just a little weird. I didn't really mind it, but it wasn't as chicken-y as other fake chicken products I've had.
Once it took a pass through the oven on top of the pizza, it blended well with the other ingredients. I thought it might firm up with additional heating and/or drying out, but it stayed pretty much the same. It sort of disappeared on the pizza, in fact. When I asked my wife what she thought of the pizza, she identified the ingredient as chicken, but she said it wasn't very good. I told her it was fake meat, and she said she had thought it was a little weird.
So there you go. If you try this product, I'd recommend a fairly aggressive flavor profile, because going light on the seasoning makes no difference.
Texture - light and spongy
Flavor - not much to speak of, but nothing bad, so feel free to season at will
Final grade for this attempt: B